My Employee Says They Are Burned Out. How Do I Respond? – S02 E08

My Employee Says They Are Burned Out. How Do I Respond? Transcript S02 E08

Outline

Leaders' responsibilities in addressing employee burnout.

• Leaders should treat employee burnout concerns seriously and actively listen without judgment.
• Emphasizes active listening techniques to understand burnout, using powerful questions and attentive silence.
• Coaching principles from the International Coaching Federation and NLP/NES Technology empower leaders to find solutions, not just symptoms.

Burnout prevention and solutions through coaching.

• Asks open-ended questions to understand employees' feelings and stress levels.
• Employees' answers reveal the physical and emotional toll of work and potential solutions to burnout.
• Uses NLP and ICF coaching principles to help teammates and employees set goals and create actionable steps to move forward.
• Asks specific questions to help her teammates and employees reframe their conversation in a forward-moving way, focusing on desired outcomes and incremental progress.
• Emphasizes empowering teammates through coaching conversations, delegating tasks, and positive language.
• Leaders can develop self-reliance in team members by asking open-ended questions and reframing negative thoughts into growth opportunities.

Burnout prevention and self-care for leaders and employees.

• Suggests managers and employees discuss role clarity and expectations to prevent burnout.
• Suggests setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care as a leader to avoid burnout and promote well-being.
• Noel encourages leaders to delegate tasks, recognize team achievements, and celebrate their wins to boost morale and motivation.
• Offers practical tips for managing burnout, such as prioritizing sleep and disconnecting from technology.
• Encourages listeners to seek support from mentors, colleagues, coaches, or therapists to navigate burnout.

Transcript

Welcome back to another episode of Rat Race Reboot, where we discuss the many facets of burnout. Today, we're talking about the leader's responsibility toward burnout and some ways that leaders can help their team members who are experiencing burnout, mitigate it, get through it, and get over it. So, in previous episodes, we've talked all about how to identify burnout, how to address burnout, and how to transform burnout, but what should you do when somebody on your team comes to you saying they're feeling burnout? How would you respond? And it's interesting in an article published in HBr in May of 2023, the CEO of the Institute for Global Flourishing addresses this exact question, and we're gonna dive a little bit deeper into this. But the author recommends the following steps she recommends that first and foremost, and I agree 100%. 

Treat your employee's burnout concerns seriously. Let them be heard and express themselves. Avoid dismissing employees' burnout as an exaggeration or a sign of low resilience. I find that sometimes we can weaponize that word, resilience, recognize the seriousness of their feelings and their concerns, if they're indicating some kind of underlying issue, prioritize a dedicated one-on-one conversation with this person, not a casual kind of brief interaction, but really get into a conversation with this person and express concern and appreciation by actively listening without interruption. No judgment, right? Use active listening techniques like waiting before responding. 

To summarize their points, I always talk about verbal mirroring so that they know that you're hearing them and they feel understood. And that's a really important piece of this, that first and foremost, listening and understanding their experience of burnout. And the only way that you can understand that is through listening. I want to take things a little bit deeper by tying in some concepts from the International Coaching Federation, neurolinguistic programming, and neuro shine technology. Because we want to get to the heart of what's going on with a person, we want to know what's happening, what their experience is truly like, and what they would rather do instead, and have them be a part of the conversation and a part of the solution. If we mandate things that they should do, we might be exacerbating the burnout, right? So we want to make sure that we're listening. 

One of the things that I am passionate about is the idea of active listening and using powerful questions to draw out what's inside that other person. So, I like to take active listening skills, like attentive silence, a step further than paraphrasing. I think it's really important when somebody is using specific language to describe their circumstance. This can be learned, but you want to make sure that you're using their language. Words can have different meanings for different people. And so if you're truly listening, repeat back to them some of the things that they are saying because those words carry weight, and they might have a different meaning than what you're thinking. Demonstrating empathy, right? 

If you understand their perspective, ask powerful and open-ended questions. All of these things are based on International Coaching Federation coaching prints. Balls. And I think every leader should be attuned to these principles, not just coaches. Because these coaching principles, in these ways of asking questions, truly empower others to find their own solutions. I'm going to give you some examples of some really great, powerful questions that can help you get to the heart of somebody's source of burnout and then also get to the solution, thereby asking somebody, do you feel competent and effective in your job? 

So, how are you feeling about your work these days? That could be an open-ended question that really aligns with how somebody might feel about their job, whether they're feeling competent or effective. So, if you were just to ask, do you feel competent and effective in your job that could elicit a yes or no response? But do you want to ask an open-ended question? How are you feeling about your work these days? So, this question helps you understand if they would benefit from more support, training, or coaching to be more effective. 

And here's another question that kind of gets at the heart: Do you feel emotionally exhausted at your job? Or do you experience any of those physical symptoms of stress? So, a question that you could ask is, what are you noticing about your stress levels these days? Or since you started here 12 months ago? What are you noticing about your levels of stress at work or in your personal life? So their answer can help you understand the physical and emotional toll their work is taking on them. You can also have a deeper understanding of whether people are becoming more cynical or simply caring less than they used to about their colleagues or their clients. 

So, another question you could ask is open-ended. What mindset shifts? Have you noticed about your work or the interactions of the people you work with? What have you experienced since you started working here? What trends have you noticed? So here's an example of an open-ended question or a couple of open-ended questions. So, as we know, and as you've learned about burnout, increased feelings of cynicism toward your work. That's a key indicator of burnout. And so your questions and those answers to those questions will help you understand how their feelings are affecting their relationship with others on their job and their work. 

So, getting to solution finding and asking some questions really get them to think more deeply about their situation and what they would like to create in their work. What would an ideal work situation look like for you? What are some steps you think we could take to help reduce your workload? And how can I best support you in achieving your goals? So those are just some examples of some open-ended questions that can help get to the root cause of burnout, but then also start getting the wheels turning about some possible solutions or scenarios that they would like to see, some things they'd like to see more of what would you like to see more of in your work? What would you like to see less of? What's your biggest stressor at work? You know, really, it's meant to cultivate a dialogue between the two of you so that you can really get to understand what they're experiencing. We also want to make sure that we're focusing on the present and the future. We want to acknowledge, of course, past contributors to burnout, and then we want to guide the conversation toward the present and the future. You know, the past has happened, but we want to make sure that we're future-focused. 

Neuro-linguistic programming helps us focus on the present with empowering questions and empowering action so that we can move toward creating a better future. And you know, our brain can't focus on a past we don't like and a future we'd like to have. We can't focus on those two directions at the same time. So, NLP can help us reframe the conversation in a forward-moving way. So, a question that you could ask is, What would you like to happen differently? Moving forward? What would you like to see differently as we move forward? What resources do you already have that might be helpful? What resources might you need to move you in that direction? Those are some powerful questions that are rooted in NLP and the direction of future focus. We also want to be outcome-oriented, right? 

And we want to help our teammates and our employees set goals using ICF principles. So, we want to explore their desired outcome and then collaborate together to create some actionable steps. Sometimes, when we're experiencing burnout, we just need a thought partner to help us create some attainable goals that are incremental so that we can just keep moving forward toward that vision that we want to create. And so we also want to make it clear that once we help them set a goal, we ask them. I love this because this is also a part of NLP and the ICF coaching principles. And I do this every time I have a coaching session with somebody. Even if it's just a 45-minute session, we set a goal, we have a topic for that 45 minutes. 

And then I ask well, what do you want to accomplish in these 45 minutes specifically? And then how do we know when you've achieved that goal? So, we want to quantify it. And then we want to ask before we close a conversation or a session, what specific actions can you take this week to help you move forward? So we're empowering that person to be a part of the solution and empowering them to take actions that they have chosen. We're not dictating, we're not mandating anything. They are really driving this conversation. And through powerful questions, they are coming up with their own answers, and we're being a thought partner for them. So also, we want to keep in mind, as a leader, that we're not just having these conversations, but not walking, walking the talk, we want to make sure that we're walking the talk as well. So, in managing and being a coaching leader, we want to model the behaviors that we want to see in others. We also want to model inquiry over advice-giving.

So, instead of giving that person direct advice, we want to use questioning techniques and open-ended questions to encourage self-reflection. So instead of saying, for example, you know, take more breaks, ask the person rather, what are some ways that you could create more space for yourself in your workday, and then have them come up with their own answers, it's going to be much more powerful. And those changes are much more likely going to stick because they come from them, you know, asking these types of questions and not inserting ourselves and giving direct advice. It's so hard. It can be learned, though. And so that's the beautiful thing: we can get much better at this. And the more we do it, the more empowered our teammates will be. And then you're modeling that behavior. So, in and of itself, you're developing leaders around you who are empowering themselves and holding themselves accountable for asking for what they need and really getting through their roadblocks. Another thing we want to keep in mind is we want to empower others through, you know, delegating or giving others opportunities for growth. This also aligns with the International Coaching Federation's coaching principle, which is developing the coaching clients' level of self-reliance and rights. And we also want to use positive language when we're having these coaching conversations as a leader. NLP teaches us the power of language. So, help your teammates reframe negative thoughts about burnout into positive opportunities for growth. Again, we can't focus on the negative and the positive at the same time. So instead of saying, I'm failing here, well, help that person reframe it.

This is a chance to learn and adjust my approach. We also want to consider long-term solutions. And I think this is really important. Oftentimes, we can experience burnout when there's a lack of role clarity within our jobs. So, having that conversation about role clarity and expectations, if both of you could, that manager and that employee could just highlight what they think the other's roles are. So that the employee writes it down. Here are the four roles that I engage in, day in and day out, and here's how much of my time I spend. In these roles, that employee would share that with you, the leader, or the manager. Then, as the manager, you can have a conversation about those roles. Are the two of you in alignment? Is that person really doing what they need to be doing? Or is there something that can be shifted to another department or another person? Is it with the right person? Discuss what the employees are accountable for and then have that conversation so that there's, you know, whether or not there's any job or work-related mismatch or other things going on there. Or, if there's an overlap in some of the facets of that role, use open-ended questions to explore that potential overlap and other roles in areas where responsibilities might feel unclear. This can pinpoint any role mismatches where an employee is expected to do is expected to do something, and it's something that may be beyond their capabilities. You want to have that conversation, too. And then you want to focus on solutions, not blame.

So, instead of assigning blame for any confusion, job mismatch, or expectations, focus on collaborative solutions, so work together to redefine those roles, adjust workloads, and provide additional training, if needed. And this fosters a sense of ownership over the solutions. Now, the last piece of this is for you as a leader. And as a role model, you, again, want to make sure that you're walking the talk. So you want to make sure that you're practicing a little bit of work-life balance. For example, don't glorify busyness, take yourself, take breaks, encourage vacations, take your vacations, leave work on time at a reasonable hour, set the tone model that changes that you want to see, set clear boundaries for yourself, communicate, and set clear expectations about communication outside of work our area of the outside of work hours, don't expect an immediate response to emails or calls after a certain time. I was recently talking with somebody, and her boss would contact her as if the duty day ended at five. And at nine and 10 pm. He's expecting an immediate response. And even at five in the morning, I mean, what a horrific way to start and end your workday you can't possibly unplug.

Now, if there's an emergency, and that's different, but if everything's an emergency, then we need to look at something else. You need to bring an organizational development professional like me into your workplace to see what's really going on. Why are these emergencies happening all the time? and get to the root cause of it so that we can set proper boundaries. As a leader and manager, you also want to lead the charge and prioritize self-care. So openly discuss your own self-care practices, talk about healthy habits that you use to manage your stress and maintain your well-being, and delegate and share the workload effectively. You don't have to be the go-to person and superhero. When you are developing leaders around you. You're empowering them, so you don't have to take on all of the work yourself. Recognize hard work. I acknowledge and appreciate your team's hard work. Celebrate achievements and milestones to boost morale and motivation, and celebrate your own wins share.

You know, there are lots of ways that you can experience self-care if you are not versed in that. So, I want to give you a few ideas about being a leader, a manager, and an employee. But schedule time for you to block time off and your calendar for self-care activities. There's nothing wrong with having some space on your calendar, just to think to be with your thoughts. Engage in some mindful practices, such as meditation, that are integrated into your day. Use a meditation app, such as deep breathing, for example. And those are things that can help you manage your stress. prioritize sleep, exercise, and healthy eating. Don't bring in a dozen doughnuts, right? Think of other healthy ways that can help our brain connect and recharge ourselves. Disconnect. Take care rakes from technology and work emails and disconnect during vacation and personal time. Oh my gosh, there's nothing more grotesque. 

When I see somebody saying, Look at me, I'm working on the beach, and they have a laptop on the beach. Seriously, enjoy your time, like putting the laptop away or taking a break from technology. There's nothing cool about being in the grind, so much so that you get to go sit on the beach in, you know, some foreign place. And then you're still working. You're not even being present in your surroundings and truly disengaging. And don't be afraid to seek support from mentors, colleagues, a coach, or a therapist if you're starting to feel overwhelmed, you know, and be transparent about it, you know, and share those resources with your teams. I hope this has been really helpful for you today. 

You know, we've been talking a lot about burnout. Another side of this is recognizing burnout in other people and having really deep and important conversations with them so that you can help them navigate it. In order for us to be effective and help our employees navigate through burnout and escape the rat race is if we ourselves are willing to do the things necessary to take care of ourselves and model that behavior. So again, thank you so much for listening. We are going to continue with these facets of burnout in the future. Next coming episodes. Suppose you've missed episodes one through seven. It's all around different facets of burnout. I encourage you to go back and listen. I would love to hear your comments as well. 

Give us a five-star review. Leave us your comments. If you've enjoyed today's episode, go to rat race reboot.com and connect with me if you're experiencing burnout. If you and your team could benefit from having somebody like me as an executive coach or organizational development professional come in, I can help you navigate through this. So, have a wonderful rest of your week. We will see you again next week. But remember, everything's created twice, first in our imagination and then in physical form. Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week.