Learn to Forgive Yourself

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

forgive, mind, energy, forgiveness, release, create, letter, vibration, person, goal, guilt, deep inhale, write, imagination, completely, resentment, process, episode, imagine, letting

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Holding on to past mistakes, resentment and anger is like holding on to a hot coal expecting the other person to get burned. But the only one who gets hurt is you. Stay with me for today's episode where we learn to release and forgive, so we can create something beautiful and new.\

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The following was recorded in front of a live studio audience at the studio 21 podcast cafe. This is the United Podcast Network.

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Welcome to rat race reboot. I'm your host, Laura Noel. And as a certified coach and former 27 year military leader, each week, I provide bite sized mindset pivots that will help you reset your mind reawaken your spirit and regain your control. Welcome back, everyone. I'm glad you're here joining us this week. Last episode, we talked about starting the process of doing mental housekeeping and gaining some clarity on some things that you desire. And also celebrating some of the wins for some of the things that you created this past year. And in the midst of that in the midst of gaining clarity on asking the question, how can I serve? What is my purpose? What do I desire, being aware of the voice of dissent, that vocal inner critic that it resides in each one of us, so that we can start this process of letting it go? I want to talk a little bit about forgiveness today. And sometimes, you know, it's it's a requirement for us to forgive others in order for us to move past things that we've experiences. Oh boy, I am I need to forgive myself for tripping over my words. We need to forgive ourselves ourselves for things that we've done. We also need to forgive others who may have hurt us. And so this process is the same that I'm going to be walking you through. But it's a very important process. Because without forgiveness, we can't move on. We'll stay stuck.

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Sometimes I talked about this in last week's episode, maybe we set goals for ourselves, and we look at the year and we're like, Gosh, why didn't I get any traction on this, or I tried this and I failed or I tried this and I fell and I made mistakes. And then we hold on to that shame or that guilt. We've got to let it go and learn to forgive ourselves. Sometimes when we set goals for ourselves, and we find that we're just not gaining the traction or we just can't seem to muster up the motivation. Sometimes we just have to be really honest with ourselves and ask ourselves, you know, is this my goal was I setting this goal to appease somebody else is something that I was thinking that I should do or that somebody else thinks I should do. And when we don't follow through on those goals. Sometimes I know I've done this, I've, I faced an enormous amount of guilt and justification. And I just I buried it, I stuffed it, you know, we grow up in a society where we don't express those type of feelings. It's, you know, it's not the cool thing to do. We suppress those negative emotions, but they're still in there, that guilt. And that dissatisfaction and that dis ease is still in there. So this is a process where you can actually release and let it go. Now also forgiveness and other people. Sometimes people hold a grudge. And I want to tell you that forgiveness isn't for the other person. It's for you. Forgiveness is not weakness, it doesn't mean that somebody who's done you wrong, if you forgive them that they've won, or they've gotten one over on you, it doesn't mean that that's acceptable behavior, and that you're willing to accept it moving forward. It just means that you're you're letting it go. Again, it's like when you're when you're holding on to those resentments. It's like taking poison and expecting the other person to get sick from it. And the only person that's it's weighing on and it's hurting is you that other person is probably living their best life. And they're not even thinking about that situation. That happened last week, last month, 10 years ago, but you're harboring this resentment, and resentment and that anger and that lack of forgiveness. It's keeping you stuck and stagnant and you can't welcome anything new until you let it go. I was reading this by Bob Proctor and I love this. So I'm going to read this. It's where we energetically metabolize our experiences every day and often we allow a difficult or stressful experience to build up. And ultimately that negative energy drains us it dims our light and knocks us out of balance. So we're responsible for the energy that we carry. And that the we're responsible for the energy that we bring to any given situation. And we're also responsible for the energy that we allow in, okay? It is not your family's responsibility, your boss, your spouse, your friends, they are not the guardian of your your energy, your vitality you are you are responsible for it. So when you internalize positive and you keep the negative at bay, you recharge every fiber in your being is not a beautiful thing. Energy you create it from within. Other people don't create it for you. So when you're forgiving, you're allowing yourself forward momentum, you're releasing that negative energy, and you're taking responsibility for your own energy. Knowing that other people are operating and doing the things to the best of their ability, the best way that they know how given their level of awareness. If you're studying your mind, and what makes you tick, and energy, you are ahead of a lot of people because you're peeling back the layers of the onion, but not everybody is in the same spot that you're in love them, you're not better than them, I'm not better than them. We're all at different levels of awareness. We're at different places in our journey, live and let live, forgive and let them live their lives and love them. Anyway, remember, we talked about that, in an episode where I talked about gratitude and sending love, love sending love to even people who are trying your last nerve, right? There's an energy in that. And as you're releasing this energy, and you're deciding on what you want to create in the new year, you're getting in vibrational harmony with everything that is good in terms of what you want to create. So even if you don't know exactly yet what your goal is, by releasing that negative energy by forgiving to let go to completely abandon that negativity, you are ascending your level of vibration and your energy. So just by virtue of doing that you're attracting all things that are in harmony with you. And that'll even enable you to be more creative and tap into that inner wisdom and that inner GPS, your intuition so you can gain more clarity. So

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let's start to release the baggage. Now I want to walk you through an exercise that is really powerful. And it's been really helpful for me in terms of forgiveness. So think about some people that you could forgive, think about maybe it's it's yourself, maybe you've made some mistakes this past year, maybe you've said some things that were unkind. And yeah, I wish I could have a do over? Well, you can I'm going to tell you how to do that. But think about somebody who you really just want to forgive, you just want to let the past be in the past and move forward. And I want you to get out a piece of paper and journal, write a letter to that person, you're not going to send it to that person, but write a letter to this person. And come from the space of hey, so and so when you did this or said this, I really felt a lot of hurt. But you know what I realize that you are doing the best you can, given where you are and I release you and I forgive you fully and completely, you know, look for the good in some of the things that have happened to you. Look for the good harvest the good. And I'm going to talk about that in next week's episode. But nothing is all good. Nothing is all bad. If you want to get in alignment with positive pole thinking. There's something that you learned from that experience. So bring that into the letter. You know, you did X, Y and Z and I felt this way. But I forgive you and I'm letting it go and I release it. But there's been some good that it's come out of that and I learned some lessons and write those down. And once you get it all out in paper, it might make you feel emotional. So set some quiet time aside for yourself to do this exercise. Then I want you to write letters to other people that you want to forgive. Write a letter to yourself if you if you're having a hard time letting go of a mistake that you've made. And once you finish this process, take all of those letters and burn them. And if you can't build a fire pit, shred them, rip them up by hand. It's pretty cathartic. Let it go fully and completely so that you can Get some forward momentum and create some new experiences in your life. Another thing that you could do, aside from writing the letters is have a do over whenever you do or say something and you think, Gosh, that wasn't the best version of me. In the moment, if you're having a conversation with somebody and something flies out of your mouth, that seems insensitive, just stop in the conversation, they'll appreciate it and say, You know what, that didn't come out the way I wanted it. That's not how I want to come across, could we have a do over and then just back up and have a do over. And if you don't do it in the moment, you still have another chance, before you go to sleep, and lay your head on the pillow at night, have a mental rehearsal of your day, go through your entire day, from the time you woke up to the time that you just got into bed. And if there are any moments in that day where you weren't being the highest version of yourself, the best version of yourself, or something happened, you know, you got a letter in the mail and it was bad news. Well have a do over in your imagination, your mind, your subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's imagined. And this is going to elevate your vibration. So if you got that bill in the mail you weren't expecting or something. Bad news in the mail. Imagine you received a letter in the mail and rewrite it in your imagination. And it turned out to be something amazing, okay, you're going to go to sleep with that highly elevated feeling and vibration. And when you wake up in the morning, you're going to feel like a million bucks. So those are two things that you can do to release things that have happened in the past so that you can continue that forward momentum while elevating your own energy. So let's end today's episode like we always do. I'm going to have you take a deep breath in through your nose, exhaling fully and completely through your mouth. And we're going to do a guided visualization to close out today's episode. Take another deep inhale through your nose

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and exhale fully and completely. Take one last deep inhale and exhale and I want you to bring to your mind's eye

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a person you could forgive right now is that somebody in your family, a person from your past a co worker boss or even yourself I want you to bring an image of that person to your mind

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and I want you to energetically say in your imagination, I forgive you. And I'm letting it go in energetically send that person even yourself, love and maybe even take a moment to bring a situation that unfolded that wasn't to your liking maybe something in recent days or maybe even something today

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bring it to your mind's eye in vivid detail. Imagine the story is playing on a TV screen right in front of you

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and now imagine that screen goes blank you close your eyes and you open them again and then that screen is illuminated in white beautiful light imagine like vanity lights or lights that you would see in a movie stars dressing room. Circling that TV. Now envision that situation unfolding in the most beautiful way. Have a do over Notice any inspirations that come to your mind or any inclination to reach out to somebody. That's your intuition guiding you write it down, follow it and incorporate this practice Welcome back, everyone. That is a really powerful exercise both of them are. So I encourage you this week before next week's episode to forgive, write letters of forgiveness to anyone that you where you're harboring resentment, let it go, so that you can create something new as we approach the New Year. And so you can start being present fully present and engaged and enjoying every aspect of your life. If you enjoyed today's episode, and you got value from it, I want you to go to rat race reboot.com Follow us on your platform of choice, subscribe on YouTube, share the message and leave a review. I read those, and I appreciate them. Until next week, remember, everything is created twice, first in your imagination, and then in physical form. I'll see you next week.

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The views and opinions expressed by the hosts guests or callers of this program do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the studio 21 podcast cafe, the United Podcast Network, its partners or affiliates.