Joy of missing out (JOMO)

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

jomo, tent, create, people, run, thinking, grateful, joy, started, exhale, missing, feel, practicing, sleeping bag, question, promoted, path, gratitude, sideways, ideas

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We've probably all heard of the acronym FOMO fear of missing out. But fear can sometimes have a way of knocking us off balance and off our path if we allow it to guide us. So stick around for today's episode where we talk about Jomo, the joy of missing out as a path toward alignment and fulfillment.

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The following was recorded in front of a live studio audience at the studio 21 podcast cafe. This is the United Podcast Network.

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Welcome to rat race reboot. I'm your host, Laura Noel. And as a certified coach and former 27 year military leader, each week, I provide bite sized mindset pivots that will help you reset your mind reawaken your spirit and regain

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your control. Welcome back, everyone. I am thrilled this morning because I look around me, in all turns, for sparks of inspiration, and things that I think would resonate with our audience here. And I was gonna scrolling through Instagram and I saw somebody and I can't attribute this because it was on Instagram, and I can't remember who it was. But they held up a sign about Jomo, the joy of missing out. And my goodness, I wish I had that stuck in my head years ago. And here's the funny thing, and you're this is kind of going to be a little stream of consciousness here. I checked my email and I got an email from the universe. And I'm going to read that to you. It's true, Laura, the early bird gets the worm. So does the late bird, the bird in between? Because by design, there are more than ah, I just flubbed that up. Let me read this again. It's true, Laura, the early bird gets the worm. So does the late bird and the bird in between, because by design, there are always more than enough worms. In fact, the only bird that doesn't get a worm is the bird that doesn't go out to get one. Oh, to be alive the universe. And I thought that really resonated and connected well with this idea of Jomo because I'm thinking back, when I first started my coaching business, I was really looking to see what other people were doing and how they were running their businesses, how they were advertising, how you know what strategies they were using. And I, I had probably all of the online courses you could think of my computer was full of courses that I probably would never take some I did take some I took halfway through some things I implemented most things I did not, I was, you know, still kind of in this habit of looking outside of myself, thinking that somebody else had it all figured out. Like, I had this fear of missing out what was the latest thing, the latest trend, the latest path that was going to be, you know, the big explosion in my business in a positive way. But really, it just left me busy, and broke and depleted of energy. And I don't want that for anyone. And I can remember, even before I started my business, that FOMO manifested in feeling like, as a part of my job, I had to show up for all of these things. If I wanted to get promoted, or be seen as a great leader, or an engaged leader, I had to be my footprint had to be everywhere at all times. And again, it left me feeling depleted. Yes, I got promoted, but there was a big cost associated with it. And it wasn't till later until I realized and started kind of following my own path and learning how to tap into my intuition and figure it out. But it all started when I was at a retreat. And during this retreat, it was for women only. There was a part of it where we all were led to this kind of vast open space and there were trees and valleys and you know, water and all kinds of things around us but we all had a camping area. So I had an you know, an individual pup tent and sleeping bag and we were there in that space for 24 hours. We weren't connecting with other people, although I could look across the valley and I knew I wasn't alone. I didn't feel fearful. There were people there. I just couldn't communicate with them because I wasn't close enough to them. And in this 24 hour period, I didn't have a phone I just had a journal and I just started journaling thing about my wants and desires? Who am I, I would ask that question I would meditate, and just kind of having this stream of consciousness, whatever would end up on the paper would end up. And I remember at one point, looking across the valley, now, my tent was on a hill. So it wasn't fun. i When, When night fell, I got in my sleeping bag, and my legs were straight, and then I would scrunch down and my sleeping bag would slide down to the bottom of my, my tent. So then I would try to lie sideways. And I just felt all discombobulated and messed up. And then I would try to sleep with my head down at the bottom, my feet down at the bottom, sideways one way sideways the other way, it was just a hot mess. And I would look across the valley, and I would see other people. And they had like this nice flat land. And maybe there was like a tree over them, and they had some nice shade. Or maybe they had their water and they run out a shirt and they put it on a tree branch, I'm like, kept looking over across these other tent sites thinking, If only I were there, you know, I would feel more comfortable. If only I were there, I might get a good night's sleep. If only I had that tent and that plot of land, I could enjoy the shade. And it wasn't until I mean, I just had no gratitude for where I was. And it wasn't until I started thinking about the things that I could be grateful for, like, I was grateful for the beautiful weather that we had, I was looking at a couple of prairie dogs in the prairie. And they were running back and forth. And I could see the little hole they were going into, and I love animals. So I started appreciating that and just kind of chuckling and watching them run around, I was grateful that there was no snake near my tent, or a skunk or a bear. Or yeah, I didn't notice any animals like that. And I started to have this deep, profound level of gratitude. And I started seeing things to be grateful for. And then this aha just kind of manifested, I used to think that we're out where other people were, that's where the party was. And sometimes if I would be in a group of people, or I would be the first to show up to a meeting, sometimes I would be judgmental, and I would think, Oh, this, this gathering wasn't fun, or these people weren't fun. But the common denominator was me, I was looking outside of myself to generate fun and generate joy. And when I would see the fun, gregarious people, I would see them over there, but I wasn't a part of them. And I just had this aha, that I'm where the party's at, right here, right in this little patch of land where my tent is pitched on a hill, I'm where the party is at. And it just changed everything for me in my life. So what I started doing is little by little and over time, I started remembering that I started one, being grateful and having gratitude and writing gratitude every single day, you know, no matter what's going on in my life, there's no such thing as something that's all bad, or that's all good. I mean, there's, there's a spectrum there. It's the law of polarity. So I started training myself to look for the good. And I'm not talking about toxic positivity where, you know, you're not happy with a circumstance and you're not doing anything to change it. But you're just I'm just going to be positive and joyful. That could be toxic, right? I'm talking about, look, you know, these are my goals. These are my dreams and aspirations. And I'm moving toward them, and I'm doing the things that I need to do, and expanding my awareness. But I'm also grateful for what I have now. That's what I'm talking about. So things started to shift when I started practicing gratitude every day. And then I started practicing setting boundaries every day and saying no to things that I knew weren't in alignment. So when I would, there were so many different events to go to, if I felt if I didn't feel connected with one or I just didn't want to go, I would I would decline and then I would kind of see what happened. Nobody died. Okay, we're all good. Because I alright, I can do this again. So I would just little by little, I would start practicing things like that. And now I'm at the point where I will take myself on a dinner date by myself or I'll drive you know, an hour and a half to the beach and spend the day there and do Just be be with my thoughts and not feel any guilt or shame in doing that. So that's what I want for each and every one of you is to realize that the party is where you're at, right? And the party is where everyone else is that too, right? None is better than the other. But when we collectively bring ourselves together, we can create something spectacular. But that starts with feeling that within yourself, and not having that FOMO having that Jomo, the joy of missing out. So when you're setting those boundaries, and you are taking that time for yourself, to nurture yourself, to check in with yourself, to honor yourself, that's the joy of missing out. And those activities and things are going to go on. And it's okay for other people to experience those joys within with or without you, right? Allow them to also experience what their experience, but also take that time to honor yourself. And I thought this was really powerful. I'm going to read this to you, because one of my most recent trips was a couple of weeks ago, I went to somebody's house near the beach about an hour or so away. And we did a little bit of healing. And I stayed overnight. And I focused on my goals, you know, a look back, how am I doing? What do I desire moving forward? What are some of the mental roadblocks that might be getting in my way. And what's the plan moving forward. So I took, you know, a full day and a half to just be and to be in nature and to be supported. But one of the readings that she felt guided, she had this big giant book, and she just turned the page randomly. There are a lot of good things. But this was so perfect. And I think this is perfect for what we're talking about today. So it says create what is yours to create, don't focus on quantity. Instead, focus on quality, you are here to create what is yours to create, there is no rush, there is no competition. When you try to fill the space of your life and the space of the world around you with stuff in an effort to keep up with those around you. You deny the world the special shade of light that you came here to share. So water your garden, fan your flames and keep your focused inward. Let your creations be your medicine, then share that medicine with the world. When you keep your focus on what is yours to create, you do not need to look left or right. That way you will find that what you came here to do is the very thing that you would actually choose to do, you will find that your medicine is the very thing that nourishes and fuels you and others and that your creations will never ever run dry. Rise, Sister rise, what is truly yours to create? And that's a question for you which we're going to close today's episode with the way we usually close it and I want you to think about that question. What is yours to create? And look within to figure that out? Don't look outside of you. And when you're experiencing that FOMO which sometimes we do you know sometimes we revert back to those old ways of being when you have that fear of missing out and you kind of feel that Oh, I don't want to miss out on what is mine to create. What is mine to create right now.

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Ask yourself that question. And wherever you are, just relax. start to notice your breath. Maybe even start to deepen your breath. And with each inhale and exhale, become more and more relaxed. Taking a deep inhale through your nose and exhaling fully and completely inhaling to any areas of tension in the body and then exhale, letting them all melt away and ask yourself this question what is mine to create? Or how can I serve and just be open to any ideas or flashes of inspiration images maybe that come to your mind

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and in that space write them down the ideas, the images, the words that come to your mind, they don't have to make sense right now. But just write them down. So again, what is mine to create? Now let that question go focus on your breath and listen. Wherever you are flooded your eyes open any ideas that came to you any visions images, just write them down. And if you don't feel grounded in your purpose, this might be a good practice for you to do every day for a little while, multiple times a day just checking in with yourself and trust yourself enough to know that your intuition is trying to guide you if you would listen. So I hope you enjoyed today's episode. I hope you can reframe FOMO into Jomo and start finding the joy within and just the knowingness that you bring life to every situation that you encounter. But until then, have a wonderful rest of your week. Don't forget, go to rat race reboot.com And subscribe because my book is coming out I'll lead you from A to Z in these mindset tools and how you can create and expand the most amazing life for yourself. So if you want to get updates on the book, release, subscribe and I will let you know as things become available. But until next week, remember, everything is created twice. First in your imagination, and then in physical form. See you soon.

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The views and opinions expressed by the hosts guests or callers of this program do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the studio 21 podcast cafe, the United Podcast Network, its partners or affiliates.