How To Regain Control of your Unconscious Decision Making System

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

paradigms, thoughts, goal, mind, person, extrovert, terror barrier, growing, autopilot, obstacle, episode, harmless, friend, growth, challenge, create, discomfort, podcast network, inhale, star review

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Have you ever taken a routine drive arrived at your destination safely and realize, I don't remember how I got here, as if somebody else was behind the wheel driving? Well stay with me for today's episode, where we're going to talk about unconscious decision making systems that help us focus on more important things, but can at times also feel like it's leading us instead of us leading our lives and growing.

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The following was recorded in front of a live studio audience at the studio 21 podcast cafe. This is the United Podcast Network.

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Welcome to rat race reboot. I'm your host, Laura Noel. And as a certified coach and former 27 year military leader, each week, I provide bite sized mindset pivots that will help you reset your mind reawaken your spirit and regain your control. Hi, everybody, and welcome back. I'm glad to be here with you today I'm going to be talking about your mind of course paradigms and your decision making systems and how those systems can serve us. But sometimes they can hold us back and I just had a recent experience that I wanted to share with you that really ties into this idea beautifully. So I'm in a coached mastermind, and we meet every week. And we all got assignments, and the idea of it was to be spontaneous, and to break us out of our comfort zone. So I'm going to read what I received in my email. Some people did get the same email others people, other people got different tasks. But here's what my task is. Go to a public place like a mall where there are lots of people enroll at least 12 strangers to give you permission to create a spontaneous love poem for their significant other, have each person sign a statement saying that I created love and connection. Okay, I'm just going to put this out there is I'm not an extrovert. So this, my knee jerk reaction initially was. Okay, I'm gonna do it. Because I said I would. And that's what I do. If I if I'm committed to doing something, I'm going to do it. And this coach is asking me to do this. And clearly they see something in me that I don't see in myself. I have a blind spot. I'm going to ask a friend to go with me. So there's nothing in the roles that said I had to do it alone. Right? That seems pretty harmless. Yeah. I'm going to ask a friend to come with me, Kelly. She's the right person, because she's really outgoing. And she has this infectious laughter I know when we're together in the mall, when she starts to laugh and kind of egged me on that people are going to be crowded around us and drawn to us. That seems pretty harmless and benign, don't you think? And then that's when I'll just step in and quietly ask, Can I do a poem for you? That seems pretty harmless. But what I noticed is when I went into our group chat, other people were having similar experiences. And I'm going to kind of highlight some of the things that I was seeing in the chat. And by the way, these are things and emotions and thoughts that I was also having for myself. I'm not interested in doing this, I don't have time. Okay. What's everybody else's assignment? I want to know. I'm not doing that I'll get in trouble. Is it 12 people? Or is it 12 couples. And so here's the thing, when I can dissect each one of those thoughts, those are paradigms, we talked about paradigms, it's our habitual way of being in the world, our belief systems are our beliefs that keep us stuck and grounded in the here and now but not in allowing us to move forward. It's that automatic autopilot decision making system in our brain that is a good thing in some ways. But in in another way, when it comes to our growth, it can be a negative thing. So let's look at it through a different lens. Alright, let's go back to my first thought, I'm going to bring a friend with me. And she's going to laugh and it's going to draw a crowd, and then it's going to be easy for me. So I wanted to be comfortable. That, you know, your mind is designed to keep you comfortable. When you're stretching and growing. It's it doesn't know that that discomfort is a positive thing. So this task and any goal that you have for that matter. It's not about getting the goal. It's about who you get to become on the way to the goal, who do I get to step into as a result of pushing for this goal? So if I got 10 people to invite enrolled 10 people to do this little project, but I became a different person and I overcame my fear and my discomfort. That's a win. It's

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not about the two 12 people. Does that make sense? So here's this. I'm not interested in doing this. I don't have time. I felt that way to that person. I was avoiding. What's, what's everybody else doing? That's procrastinating, we're looking to see outside of ourselves. I'm not doing that. Well, I'll get in trouble. This person made up an obstacle. I did that as well. Is it 12 People or 12? Couples, I thought the same thing that's overanalyzing. But all of these thought processes guess what we were not doing. We weren't taking action on our goal. We were stuck in our own crap. And we were just spinning. Right? So in my case, again, I was being comfortable. So here's the decision that I did make. And I decided I messaged my friend, and I said, I'm going to do this by myself. And she's like, really? Are you sure? Because it would be a lot of fun, I would videotape it and everything. And I said, No, I want to do this by myself. Because I'm not an extrovert. I can speak well, I can get up in front of crowds. It's not a problem. But usually, if I were to analyze the people I hang out with, generally, they're extroverts. And they are generating the excitement, and I'm a part of it. But I'm not really the one generating it. And that's my comfort zone, I participate in it, I have fun with it, it brings me joy, I can add to it, but I rarely start it at and so this is an opportunity for me to grow. But in the old days before I started working on my paradigms, and replacing them, I'd rather say than working on them, before I started being aware of what some of my paradigms were, this would have been lost on me, I would have said up well, the rules don't say that I like operating in the gray. So I could make it comfortable for myself, and not really grow from it. And I would have brought on board the friend. And we would have had a great time. And I would have you know, gotten my numbers. And that would have been it, I would have felt good about it. But there really wouldn't have been any growth attached to it. And that's a sad thing when I see people so locked in on achieving a goal. But they're not really being present in the journey that's taking them there. And when we're on autopilot, when we're allowing these paradigms are these decision making patterns in decision making systems in our mind and in our brain in our unconscious mind subconscious. We're not growing, we're not growing. So my challenge to you is to put yourself in my shoes. Because how you do one thing is how you do everything. So imagine I gave you the same task? What thoughts would be coming up for you bubbling up in your mind? Would some of these thoughts that I mentioned here, some of these beliefs, and some of these obstacles? Would they been a part of your thought process? And be honest with yourself? When were you last really challenged by something?

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When Was there something that you really wanted to be do or have? And you talked yourself out of it? Because your paradigm, you know, none of these reasons that were brought up? I don't have time, I'm not interested in this, what's everybody else doing? I might get in trouble. You know, let's let's find somebody to join in the fun. Those are all reasonable questions. They're reasonable concerns. And your paradigm will have you believe that so? So there's nothing wrong with having those thoughts. But the key is, is to recognize when you're having them, and then decide, do I want to believe this? Or do I want to choose something different. So I want to give you three things that you could do now that can help you really have the growth that you want, and help you challenge yourself when you're faced with an obstacle. So here are three things that you can start doing now. That instead of going on autopilot, that will enable you to take the wheel and lead that drive and take charge. So first is set your GPS, set the destination, have a goal. We've talked about this in one of my first episodes, about setting the right kind of goal, setting a goal that's based on your wants and desires. Something that is so beautiful, it's exciting and scary at the same time and you have no idea how you're going to get there. That's a real goal. And so when these thoughts and these paradigms crop up in your mind when you have that beautiful vision with that timeline attached to it that's going to be more powerful than any excuse you could come up with. So set a powerful goal. And if you don't know how to do that, go back to the first few episodes and get to work on that. That because that's the most important thing. Then when you're faced with a challenge, or an obstacle, pause, take notice, ask yourself, How am I feeling? Is this an alignment with my goal? Is this what I want? And if not, what would I prefer? Just taking that pause like I did in that example. I didn't do it initially. But a few minutes later, before I jumped into action, I'm like, wait, what's the purpose of this goal? Do I want to keep doing the same thing over and over again, getting the same results, or the same level of result, ask yourself that, and then push through your comfort zone. Because when you do that, when you push through that fear, and we've talked about that on a previous episode, too, facing your terror barrier, when you get out on the other side, you get to become somebody else. So this little exercise might seem small, it might seem insignificant. But oh my gosh, the growth that I'll get to experience when I break through that terror barrier will be incredible. You're gonna have to wait until next week to see what that looks like, because I just got this assignment. And these are my thoughts going through it and reading it for the first time. But I want to help you get connected right now to your vision, and your goal. So let's take a few minutes to get grounded and connected with what it is you truly want and desire. And as we end most every episode, we're going to do a practice which I call taking inspired action and connecting

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with your inner GPS. So just begin to notice your breath. And start to deepen your breath with each inhale. Slowing down settling into your body. Maybe take a deep inhale for the count of four

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and exhaling for a count of four. Take one more inhale and then letting any tension melt away with your exhale

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and I want you to bring to your mind something that you want to be do or have maybe it's something you've been avoiding or a challenge or an obstacle. And I want you to imagine that you have overcome that challenge or obstacle

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It feels amazing. How are you celebrating? Are you alone? Or are you celebrating with other people?

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How does it feel being you right now, having overcome that challenge or obstacle? You follow through on something that was not easy. You decided to crash through that terror barrier. And you came out on the other side? Another person

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What did you create? And better yet? Who did you become? Now sit with that for a few moments and write down any ideas, thoughts or inspiration that comes to your mind and then take action on those items that is inspired action and that is what will get you out of the rat race and into your most amazing life.

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Welcome back, everybody. I'm so excited for you and what you're going to create. These are powerful little lessons that will have such a tremendous impact on your life if you do them, and you do them regularly. So thank you so much for joining us. If you enjoyed today's episode, please go to rat race reboot.com And follow us on whatever channel or mode you listen to your podcasts on. Also subscribe to our newsletter, get a free PDF download, and then you'll be informed of when new episodes are dropping. And when we have different events and such. If you enjoyed this also, please leave a review. Whether it's a five star review or comments, I do read them but that also helps get the message out there to more people. So until next time, remember, everything is created twice, first in your mind, and then in physical form, and we'll see you next week.

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The views and opinions expressed by the hosts guests or callers of this program do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the studio 21 podcast cafe, the United Podcast Network, its partners or affiliates.