Extreme Responsibility

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

feel, intuition, mind, creating, facilitator, knee jerk reactions, deep inhale, mirror, energy, responding, paradigms, moment, bs, nudge, realized, people, circumstances, rat race, text, workshop

00:00

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances the people who get on in this world are the ones who can get up and look for the circumstances they want. And if they can't find them, they make them. That's a quote by George Bernard Shaw. So stay with me for today's episode, we're going to talk about taking extreme responsibility for our circumstances, and how we show up.

00:27

The following was recorded in front of a live studio audience at the studio 21 podcast cafe. This is the United Podcast Network.

00:37

Welcome to rat race reboot. I'm your host, Laura Noel. And as a certified coach and former 27 year military leader, each week, I provide bite sized mindset pivots that will help you reset your mind reawaken your spirit and regain your control. Hello, everybody, and welcome back. I'm excited for today's episode, I'm just going to be really vulnerable with you. And this is based on some recent circumstances. And my hope is that you'll be able to recognize yourself in the story that I'm sharing with you. So allow me to be a mirror for you. Okay, so last week, we talked about how nothing grows in a comfort zone except for our BS, our mental programming that keeps us stuck our paradigms. And I experienced sitting in my BS, recently. So I was in a two day workshop. And I'm going to walk you through this timeline. So I have a few notes here that I want to refer to, because I don't want to miss it or anything because this is really important. And this is going to be short and sweet. So I was in a two day workshop. And I didn't realize it at the time when I was attending. But I closed myself off to learning. And what I experienced I was I was basically the equivalent on this online workshop of crossing my arms and like literally closing myself off to learning and experiencing anything new. What I noticed was, there was a an instructor who was teaching a facilitator. And some things had gone awry. And I didn't appreciate the way the facilitator handled what was going on. And so I noticed myself, I didn't notice in the moment, not until after and I'll get to that. But I was starting to feel really judgmental of that facilitator. And it just made me close myself off even more. And then I started to notice other people in the group in the group chat on Zoom, it was just firing up and people were asking questions and kind of like laser beam focused on that facilitator. And I didn't care for the way that this person handled answering questions. And then I have another chat on my cell phone with a group of people and then that was blowing up. And then I found myself getting swept up into the emotion of what was going on with some people I know. And at times, I was a part of the peanut gallery and complaining in our separate chat. And at times, I was even the point person, just leading the charge of complaining. And something hit me I just, I didn't feel good. I didn't feel good about myself. Something just kind of didn't feel right. And I, I listened. That was my intuition. And I just decided in that moment. I I don't like how I'm showing up. This is horrible. I mean, this is I have another day of this, that I need to sit through this. What am I going to do? Am I going to cross my arms for two days? Or am I going to try to harvest the good? You've heard me say, a lot of times that nothing is all bad. And nothing is all good. They're just opposite sides of the same spectrum, right? That's the law of polarity. And I took a stand for myself. And I wrote in this group chat, I choose to harvest the good. And when I did that, everything shifted for me I felt lighter. I because I had a tremendous amount of guilt and shame around the way that I was showing up and everything and everyone and everything that they were saying, I was allowing to enter into my subconscious mind and my knee jerk reactions were leading me instead of me leading me and I caught myself It took about a day for me to realize what was going on. And the other thing that I realized and this is where the Extreme Ownership and the Extreme responsibility comes in, is, if I don't like how this facilitation is going or how this class is going, even if I'm just a bystander in the class, and I'm not saying anything to the facilitator, or in the grand context of the class, I'm doing having little sidebar conversations and me, me, me, me judgment, judgmental and picking, I'm co creating the space, even with just my energy, and my intention, your energy and your intention, those are so powerful. Remember, everything is energy, that's all there is to it, match the frequency to the reality you want, and you cannot help it get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics. Albert Einstein said that I was creating my own reality, I was co creating it, and I was being closed off. And so once I took ownership and responsibility and realized, hmm, I am co creating this space. And therefore I can change the space and the outcome and the energy that I'm bringing forth. Now, that doesn't mean I'm changing other people. But it means that I'm changing how I'm responding to the information that I'm hearing how I'm taking it in. And I'm also choosing to harvest what's good and what even if it's like, what not to do, that I'm harvesting something out of that conversation, and out of that dialogue. So that was really powerful for me, we often don't listen to our intuition in those moments. And I'm human too. I mean, I have so much on my plate right now, I was just talking with Chrissy, our Podcast Producer, and she's like, while you have a lot going on, how do you handle it, and I'm like, I lose my shit sometimes. Like, it's good to know, you're human. But I did, I was caught up in the middle of it. But the key is, we can all get caught up in the middle of our own Bs, and that there's no growth beyond that. I am so proud of myself that I could catch myself in the moment. I knew intellectually that I co create whatever I, you know, engage in. But it just I was so caught up in my emotion. And that energy and that negative energy, I was spiraling, that I was just responding reacting, I was just having those knee jerk reactions. So hopefully, I've been a mirror for you. And maybe you can recognize some circumstances where, you know, maybe I wasn't showing up as the best version of myself, the beautiful thing is, is when you stop to think mental activity does not constitute thinking. I was not thinking when I was engaging in all those texts and, and all that stuff I was there was a lot of mental activity going on. But none of it was productive. And I wasn't thinking I sure wasn't aligned with my core values. And when I stopped to think, and that little nudge, that's your intuition. By the way, that little nudge was like, This doesn't feel right, you're not in alignment, when something doesn't feel right. You're not in, you're not in what I call praxis. You're not in alignment with your your thoughts, and what you feel on a deep level on a deep visceral level. So that is your intuition saying wake up, and sometimes we have to kind of we get a little soft nudge. I feel off today. We ignore it. I'm just gonna muscle through. And then it's like, Oh, I feel really gross right now. Oh, I'm really acting out. I'm holding the mirror up to myself, and I don't like what I'm seeing. That's your intuition. Listen to it. And what I did was I just took a pause. When I started to write a text, I actually, I actually stopped myself, I had a long text. And I thought, Laura, why are you sending this text? What is your purpose? And actually, I am not proud. My purpose was when I was about to write a text, it wasn't to be helpful. It was, it was wrapped up in a bow like it looked like it was trying to be helpful. But I was being judgmental, if I could be brutally honest with myself and with all of you. And I realized that and I put it out. I deleted the text. And that's when I started asking myself questions. What's driving this right now? Why are you feeling this way? What do you need right now? Are you showing up like the person you want to show up as? And how can you show up differently? And that shifted everything for me. So I hope this was helpful for you. If you need a little bit of support, because I recognize I mean, I'm an organizational psychologist candidate Right. I've been doing this work for many, many years, I'm in it, I've been immersed in personal development and peeling back the layers of the onion. And there's always more learning to do always more growth that can happen. And I have people in my life who can mirror for me, and I have coaches who I work with, to keep me honest, and keep me honest with myself. So if that sounds like something that you might need, I want you to go into the show notes and go to my calendar, and book a call with me, it's free, we'll have a quick consultation, I'll get you pointed in the right direction. And if working together seems like a good fit, and it makes sense, then we'll do that. And if it doesn't, and you want to continue getting value from these episodes, by all means, do it,

10:48

I invite you to do that. Okay. It's, you know, we have to do the work ourselves. And we can't do it alone. So I want you to get comfortable. And we're going to end today's episode the way we always do. And I want you to bring to mind maybe a recent event where you didn't show up like the person you wanted to show up as where you're like, these results were less than stellar. And if I could have a do over, I would surely take that opportunity.

11:21

Just take a deep breath in through your nose. And exhale. Take another deep inhale. an exhale, relaxing fully and completely. Take one last deep inhale and hold it and let it out with a sigh Imagine if you could have a do over. Because your mind doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's imagined.

12:02

So let's play the mind game with ourselves. And when take that situation where you felt like you didn't show up as your best self. And I want you to imagine yourself as showing up as that person and you feel victorious. You feel like a superhero. Just played out in your mind from start to finish. But in the way that if you could have a do over, we showed up?

12:40

How are people responding to this new version of you? Bring them to your mind's eye and see the impact your actions are having on other people in this do over fabulous version that you created How does it feel being you in that moment? Having self control responding instead of reacting? See we attract what we put out that energy that we throw out there sometimes when we're not thinking we get right back coming at us sometimes in that moment, sometimes, later. But what if, in the face of adversity or challenge, maybe even dealing with a difficult person who might be dealing with their own paradigms? What if you didn't get sucked into that? And you sent them loving energy anyway? How would you feel about you? And how would you carry that energy with you? Throughout your day? You write down any ideas or inspiration that bubbles up for you. Take that inspired action. Maybe somebody came to mind. Maybe you need to smooth something over with somebody. Maybe you need to smooth something over and forgive yourself. But whatever that was that came up for you in this inspired action segment. I want you to take it seriously. That's your intuition guiding you and I want you to take action. That's when you're going to see some bang for the buck right here. Okay. Also, if you want to have a conversation and get steered in the right direction you want some help with Practicing this, then go to rat race reboot.com Go to the show notes and book a call with me and we'll have a great conversation. Also go to rat race reboot.com wherever you listen to your podcast episodes, and leave us a five star review, and let us know you're out there and we read those reviews. So please do it. And remember, everything is created twice, first in your imagination, and then in physical form. I'll see you next time.

15:32

The views and opinions expressed by the hosts guests or callers of this program do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the studio 21 podcast cafe, the United Podcast Network, its partners or affiliates.